Waiting Room

Everyone from the terminal to the malingerers passed through Westfall waiting room. Magazines to soothe patients lacking patience when appointments overran lay splayed in one corner and a multicoloured child’s toy to foster coordination and curiosity sat in the other. The pale duck egg blue walls accented by succulent vegetable and fruit photography were deliberately chosen to convey calmness and healthy reminders of the five-a-day mantra.

Rocked babies fussed while waiting for boosters, elderly patients lingered to be called by their first name as if they too had regressed to childhood.

Sandra enveloped in the hubbub waited her turn, already running late. Her boss had originally had a semblance of compassion, but these monthly bloods to ensure that her cytotoxic injections weren’t killing her were eating into the 9-5 and his irritation was ostensible.

It didn’t help that Sandra’s veins liked to hide themselves deep on cold days. She had tried everything: hot drinks; gloves and hats; running on the spot to make those thready blue lines rise to the surface but sitting waiting her turn seemed designed to make them burrow down still further. Her arms and the back of her hands were various shades of purple and yellow. Even her boss wouldn’t have been able to insinuate that she was making it up although it didn’t stop his eye rolling when she submitted her next written request for a late start.

“Sandra, would you like to come through?” broke through her reverie.

”I drank two pints of hot water Doctor. Let’s see if you can find the buggers today,” she laughed.

As usual, the doctor’s humour bypass displayed itself as she led Sandra out to the less welcoming room where a tourniquet and needles awaited if her veins were prominent enough to check for kidney and liver function deterioration.

God bless free-at-point-of-use healthcare. In America, on her salary, she’d be in God’s waiting room, not bemoaning the pricks.

Published by Free Flash Fiction 2023

Mother’s Day in Middletown, Middlesex Co.

I sit beside you and hold your hand Brandy, more for me than for you. “Sweet girl,” you say but I am both no-one and anyone to you Mom.

You taught me how to bake cookies and restrain myself from licking the spoon, to lie in the dappled sunlight with my legs closed instead of akimbo and put on a good show when out in the world – perfectly turned out, smile painted on, a credit to the family.

Do you think, Mom, that when your folks called you Brandy, they realised how ludicrous it would sound on an elderly woman? It’s a good fit for the child you have reverted to but it’s hard to take when you sometimes call me “Mom”.

I get an occasional glorious flash of the old you – a smile, a chastisement, a stroke of my hair but it’s ephemeral and quickly replaced by your need to watch familiarly favorite shows at full volume. You laugh and clap your hands every time Three’s Company or The Golden Girls comes on, you answer the occasional quiz show question and grin from ear to ear. We have a stack of recordings we replay interminably in your room but to be fair, even if we just played one tape over and over it would all be shiny and new to you.

I long to lie on the couch with my head in your lap while I explain my life. I could tell you about my miscarriage and being told this year that that finite motherhood window has probably shut for good without some very costly interventions and we just can’t afford it, not with the care home fees.

“Your mom’s strong, physically,” they reassure me, “she’s got years left.” and they mean it kindly, really they do.

And, you’re very happy Mom – you’re very easy to please food-and-entertainment wise. When I visit we sometimes play cards. Cards meant Bridge in the past but now Snap can be a challenge. As long as I remember to slow down you still get to win.

You’re still teaching me Mom, patience is most definitely a virtue, even if Patience is no longer practised. You’re the child I take care of, who gave birth to me.

Published on Story Nook 2022

Homeward Bound


Homeward Bound

Standing at the Middle Eastern International Airport with my passport and ticket in my hand I can’t take for granted that I will be allowed on the plane, even now. I watch my man, who would have been better off relegated to being a one night stand, passing over the back shish with the subtlety that comes with a lifetime of practice and I am allowed to squeeze past the barrier that would make it obvious to everyone that I am too pregnant to be getting on this plane but too scared of what I have already seen in the city’s hospitals to remain.

I turn for a final goodbye, as he sweetly lies that it won’t be long until he can join me, away from his home and back with me in mine. I won’t miss forty degree heat and power cuts or the sewerage truck that comes weekly to empty the tank. Nor will I miss trying to squat over a hole and using a bucket or a shower attachment to clear up the fetid stench of Arabic indoor plumbing afterwards. I won’t miss having to make sure not to deface the despot’s photo when throwing out the newspaper or being stopped for papers when we mistakenly drive down the wrong streets, a bit too close to something nobody should know is there. I won’t miss Arabic signage, constant songs for the glorious leader on TV and sweaty people in market places with no sense of personal space. I might miss the women and their easy Valium induced smiles and ululation, having an orchard with orange trees and vines in the garden and I might, just might, miss him – my arrogant, wealthy husband.

On the plane I watch women going to the toilets, black abayas giving them the appearance of gigantic pupae, only for them to emerge after a decent interval transformed into beautiful butterflies: make up thickly glamorous; hair coiffed into shining curls and bright western clothes revealed, ready for landing. “Ready for my close up, Mr Passport Control Officer.”

I land at Heathrow and weave towards my suitcase on the carousel. It’s only at this point that I realise cash is king and I have none.

“Si adni…” I plead with the men with the glamorous wives, “Please help me…” to the ground staff but I am in no woman’s land, caught between worlds and – very temporarily- financially embarrassed but everyone fails to make eye contact, pretending they don’t understand the plea of a woman whose belly is bigger than her suitcase. As the carousel clears it dawns on me that I need to do this myself and if I go in to early labour then my child will be born in London rather than at home. I can feel the kicking inside me, egging me on like a cheerleader- “Go girl! Go girl!”

Miraculously though, it works – I have my case and my placenta intact and I waddle out of arrivals fighting the desire to crouch down and kiss the ground as if I am the Pope. Viva La Mama. Viva l’enfant!”

Published by SpillWords 2023